SSSS- The Substitute Sailor Senshi Sequel
by HYSMS
Summary: It's the sequel to SSS...what can i say? A few of the substitute senshi in SSS die and more substitute senshi are brought in to replace the original substitute senshi...got it?


"The Substitute Sailor Senshi Sequel" Â© 2001 HYSMS.com  
  
http://www.envy.nu/hysms/enter.html  
  
"Sailor Moon" Â© Takeuchi Naoko  
  
All characters are fictional.  
  
Rated: R (language, mild violence, lesbian stuff, inappropriate use of helium, graphic descriptions, animal abuse)  
  
note: voice actions/tones are in parenthesis ex. ( _____ ), actions are in asterisks ex. *_____*  
  
~Prologue~  
  
After the disappearance of the five Substitute Sailor Senshi (SSS), the two original inners, Mars and Jupiter, and all the original outers desperately tried to bring back the other five original senshi; Moon, Mercury, Venus, Chibi-Moon, and Tuxedo Kamen; after they were killed in a battle with Eudial earlier. So, the remaining original senshi sit in a seance circle and chanted. Then in the middle of their chant, Makoto interrupts by asking Rei where she got her information from. Rei responds by saying, "I have my sources." No one realizes that in the background, Rei's computer has been left on a website about ancient senshi rituals. They resume chanting, "Oh lordy pick a bale of cotton. Oh lordy pick a bale of hay. Gotta jump 'round, spin around, pick a bale of cotton. Jump 'round, spin a round, pick a bale of hay." (side note: chant derived from the movie "Girl, Interrupted".) After chanting it five times; Sailor Moon, a fat guy that looks like a pigeon in a white wife beater and fishnets named Mr. Retarded Pigeon Man (MRPM), Dr. Frank N. Furter from the "Rocky Horror Picture Show", and two senshi that look similar to the other SSS appear out of a puff of smoke. From there, the second chapter of our epic begins.  
  
The Substitute Sailor Senshi Sequel  
  
Moon: *strikes pose* I am Sailor Moon, the champion of justice, and I say that on behalf of the moon, I  
  
shall right wrongs, and triumph over evil!  
  
Original Senshi: *gasp* Sailor Moon!  
  
Transvestites appear out of nowhere and break into song and dance of "Sweet Transvestite" with Dr. Frank N. Furter. Once they finish, Dr. Frank N. Furter giggles then he and all the transvestites run out the door, leaving the senshi a bit traumatized.  
  
Makoto: *sweat drop* That was unexpected.  
  
MRPM: *looks at Sailor Moon* Fishnet Suffocator Attack!  
  
The fishnets on his legs magically disappear, leaving his hairy legs bare, and grossing out the senshi. Then, the fishnets re-appear on Sailor Moon's face and she slowly suffocates to her death.  
  
Original Senshi: *gasp* Sailor Moon!  
  
*The two new senshi chase away Mr. Retarded Pigeon Man*  
  
Michiru: Oh, I'm so relieved that you chased him away!  
  
Hotaru: *jumps up and down* Yay! *claps*  
  
Rei: (snobbishly) And who are you two supposed to be?  
  
Senshi 1: (in thick New York accent) Who wants to know?! You wanna make somethin' of it?!  
  
Rei: *whines* I just wanted to know your name.  
  
Senshi 1: Oh....well, from the ghetto of Brooklyn, I am Sailor Godmother!  
  
Senshi 2: From the depths of Indiana, I am Sailor Songbird!  
  
Meanwhile, Mr. Retarded Pigeon Man roams the streets of Tokyo. He wanders into a dance studio to find Richard Simmons teaching a class and Dr. Frank N. Furter as one of the students.  
  
RS: (enthusiastically) Oh look, we have a new friend! Come join us friend!  
  
The original SSS; Aimee, Candi, Jessa, and Beth; walk by the dance studio with a whole bunch of balloons attached to their wrists. They all stop and stare into the dance studio's window.  
  
Candi: *sucks helium* (in squeaky voice) Whoa........it's Richard Simmons dancing with two  
  
transvestites and........ *thinks, long pause*  
  
Aimee: (in squeaky voice) Old, fat, gay people? *sucks helium*  
  
Candi: Yeah, that's it. *sucks helium* (in squeaky voice) Damn...*looks at balloon*...that is some good  
  
shit  
  
*All suck helium at the same time*  
  
Jessa: (in VERY squeaky voice) Oooh, Getemboo, get 'em!  
  
Beth: (in squeaky voice) Shut up, cheese gut!  
  
Jessa: *sucks helium* (in squeaky voice) Getemboo.  
  
One hour later...  
  
Candi: (in squeaky voice) Follow the yellow brick road.  
  
Beth: Dude, we're out of balloons.  
  
Candi: Fo' real? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttt......  
  
15 minutes later...  
  
The SSS stumble back to the window pushing an entire helium tank on a dolly.  
  
Jessa: *sucks helium* Getemboo.  
  
One hour later...  
  
Jessa: *sucks helium* (weakly, squeaky voice) Let's goooooo....*collapses*  
  
Beth: At least now she'll be quiet.  
  
Aimee: Damnit! Now we have to drag her ass back to the tower!  
  
*Candi sees money and a bottle of glitter in Jessa's pocket and takes the glitter*  
  
Candi: Let's go!  
  
*The SSS leave the empty helium tank behind and start pushing Jessa home on the dolly*  
  
Back at the temple... the inners, Setsuna, Hotaru, and the new senshi are having a conversation while Haruka and Michiru are making strange banging noises in the bedroom.  
  
Setsuna: Why haven't you guys un-transformed yet?  
  
Godmother: Don't tell me what to do, bitch! Mah fatha is da head of da Milo clan and he can have you  
  
whacked in ten seconds!! (side note: whacked- murdered by the mob)  
  
Setsuna: *whines* I just wanted to get to know you better.  
  
Songbird: Geez, godmother!!!! Why do you have to be so mean?!?! Don't make me tie you down and  
  
kick your ass!! *winks at Setsuna*  
  
*As they're about to fight, Hotaru comes in between them*  
  
Hotaru: (in a sweet and innocent voice) *pouts lips and gives puppy-dog eyes* Please don't fight, they  
  
just want to be friends with you.  
  
Songbird: Awwww.....that's too damn cute.  
  
*Songbird un-transforms*  
  
*banging from bedroom*  
  
Godmother: (mumbles) Friends, my ass. *rolls eyes* Damn child.  
  
Songbird: My name is Heather and I'm 19.  
  
Hotaru: You're 19? Really? You sound like a 12 year old boy.  
  
Heather: (grumbles) Damn child. *sits on couch*  
  
Hotaru: *blank look on face* Was it something I said?  
  
*bang*  
  
Michiru: (from bedroom) Owww!! Haruka, you pushed it too far into me!  
  
Godmother: My name is Gabrielle...  
  
Hotaru: Can I call you Gabby?  
  
Gabrielle: NO!!! Call me Gabby and you die!  
  
Hotaru: *whines, sits down, puts legs up to chest, and rests chin on knees* You're scurry.  
  
Setsuna: What did you say?! Have you been hanging out with those "other" senshi?!  
  
Hotaru: *whimpers* No.  
  
*crash, squeal*  
  
Rei: Damnit! They broke my brand-new bed! I'm gonna give them a real ass beating this time!  
  
Gabrielle: *crack knuckles* Want me to whack 'em for ya?  
  
*Gabrielle and Rei walk towards the bedroom and the other girls follow to try to stop them*  
  
Rei: *swings open door* Ok, you two! You owe me another...*looks around to find that her entire room  
  
has been rearranged* Hey, you guys really did rearrange the furniture!  
  
Mako: Looks nice, you guys! Hey Rei...I still haven't found out where you got your information for the  
  
chants from. I checked all your bookshelves and I didn't find anything of that sort.  
  
Rei: *pause* I have my sources.  
  
Gabrielle: Hey! What's with all the questions!?  
  
Rei: *thinks, then looks under bed* Hey! Where'd all my Playbo....I mean, Teen People magazines go?  
  
*Haruka hides Playboys behind back*  
  
Gabrielle: *cracks knuckles* Want me whack 'em for ya?  
  
Haruka and Michiru: Ooooh!  
  
Michiru: Is that an invite?  
  
*Gabrielle walks away and pushes Mako out of the way and Mako falls on her ass*  
  
Mako: Ow, bitch!  
  
*Gabrielle flips her off and sits on couch, grumbling incoherently to herself about "damn lesbians"*  
  
Heather: *runs and stumbles over things (and Mako) with a cheesy smile on her face* Can I be invited?  
  
*Haruka and Michiru look at each other*  
  
Cut to the Tower...Candi is trying to wake up Jessa, but her efforts have remained unsuccessful.  
  
Candi: *slapping Jessa's face* Wakey-wakey, Jessa! *giggles*  
  
Candi slaps Jessa even harder, but she only responds by smacking her lips. Candi smiles and gets the hot sauce and puts some in Jessa's mouth and lips, then ties Jessa's shoelaces together.  
  
Aimee: *playing video games* GD it, you dipshit! I died again!  
  
Candi: You're dead.  
  
Aimee: Shut up, dipshit! Now I have to restart the game because of that dipshit!  
  
Beth: *wakes up* Goddamnit Aimee! Is that all you can say!?! (mockingly) Dipshit, dipshit, dipshit! God,  
  
shut the fuck up! *lays back down*  
  
Aimee: *laughs* Dipshit.  
  
Candi: *giggles, then takes out make up and starts putting on make up on Jessa so badly that she  
  
looks like a cheap prostitute*  
  
Aimee: *looks over at Candi* You're gay.  
  
Candi: No I'm not, I'm....*pause*....straight.  
  
Aimee: You were about to say bi, weren't you?  
  
Candi: *thinks* Yeah.  
  
Aimee: *looks down at video game* Damn that dipshit.  
  
Candi: You're dead. *bitch-slaps Jessa then runs to hammock and pretends to sleep*  
  
Jessa: *licks lips and wakes up* Ohmigod! It's fucking hot!!!  
  
Aimee: *laughs* Dipshit.  
  
Beth: *groans* God, Aimee!! Shut up, you dipshit!  
  
Aimee: *laughs* You said dipshit.  
  
Beth yells in frustration and lays back down, pulls covers over head, and tries to sleep. For most of the night, Jessa tried to cool her mouth down.  
  
The next day at the temple, Heather fell asleep on Gabrielle's shoulder and is drooling on her shoulder; Setsuna and Hotaru are watching the news; Mako is sleeping on the other couch; Rei is searching for her 'Teen People' magazines; and Haruka and Michiru are rearranging the dining room. Heather's drool runs down Gabrielle's shirt.  
  
Hotaru: I wanna watch Teletubbies!  
  
Setsuna: No! You watched it yesterday morning!  
  
Hotaru: It's my turn!  
  
Setsuna: We have to watch the news! that pigeon freak is on the loose.  
  
Haruka: (in the background) Oh, Michiru! Oh, Michiru!  
  
Michiru: (also in the background) I'm coming! I'm coming! Oh god I'm coming! I'm coming as fast as I  
  
can!  
  
*Makoto and Gabrielle wake up*  
  
Gabrielle: Eeeewww! Get of me!  
  
*Gabrielle pushes Heather off of her, Heather falls off couch and lands on and breaks coffee table*  
  
Gabrielle: Eeewwww! You drooled all over me!  
  
Heather: If you want, I can lick that back up for you.  
  
Hotaru: Scandalous.  
  
Makoto: You have been hanging out with the "other" senshi, haven't you?!  
  
Hotaru: It's a vocabulary word from school.  
  
Setsuna: You're on summer vacation!!  
  
Michiru: (in the background) Oh god! I can't hold it any longer!  
  
Haruka and Michiru start moaning and grunting loudly in background, followed by a loud crash. Everyone runs in the dining room, to see the fallen china cabinet.  
  
Rei: Ohmigod! You guys broke my china..... and you rearranged my entire dining room! Oh yeah, and  
  
on my way from the bedroom, I noticed a broken coffee table, would someone care to fill me in?  
  
*Gabrielle pushes Heather in front of Rei*  
  
Gabrielle: Dyke-O-Angelo clumsy-ass fell on it!  
  
Heather: *Laughs nervously* ooppss... I can make it up to you, if you like me to. *winks*  
  
*Before Rei could say anything, Setsuna calls them over*  
  
Setsuna: Guys! Come here quick! Pigeon man destroyed downtown Tokyo!  
  
Reporter: (On TV)...Witnesses have reported that a fat man that looks like a pigeon in a white  
  
wifebeater and fishnets has destroyed part of downtown, near Tokyo Tower!  
  
*Dr. Frank N. Furter has arm around Grandpa; waving to the camera while standing behind the reporter*  
  
*Everyone sweatdrops*  
  
Meanwhile back on the Tokyo Tower...  
  
*Candi rubs eyes and looks at everyone*  
  
Candi: Do you guys hear sirens?  
  
Beth: *Groans* Go back to sleep! It's all in your head!  
  
*Aimee moans in sleep*  
  
Sometime after that...  
  
*What's left of the original senshi and the two new senshi walk the downtown streets under the Tokyo Tower to scan the area for the Fishnet wearing freak*  
  
*Heather sees cute dead girl lying on ground*  
  
Heather: Awww...what a waste. I wanted to make some phalange juice with her. (Side note: Phalange-  
  
Fingers; "finger juice", you figure it out)  
  
*Haruka, Michiru, and Rei nod in agreement. Everyone looks at Rei*  
  
Rei: *sweatdrops* I was exercising my neck muscles.  
  
Gabrielle: Ewww! That's disgusting! I don't want to be part of your lesbianic ways!!!  
  
Hotaru: Gum-bo!  
  
Haruka: GD it! You have definitely been hanging out with the "others".  
  
Michiru: *gasp* You said "GD it"! That's what "they" would say!  
  
Haruka: Well, that blonde one is kinda cute...  
  
*Michiru bitch-slaps Haruka*  
  
Makoto: Oooohhh! She got sweated!! *snaps fingers, sways head from side to side*  
  
*Everyone looks at Makoto funny*  
  
Setsuna: "They" would say that too.  
  
Aimee: (From Tower) Hi Gabby!!  
  
*Everyone looks up*  
  
Setsuna: Oh shit! Not them again!!  
  
Gabrielle: What did you say?!  
  
Jessa: (From Tower) Hi, Gabby!!  
  
Gabrielle: What have I told you about calling me Gabby?!  
  
Candi: Hi, Gabby!! Hi, Heather!!!  
  
Heather: Hi, Candi!! I never got my welcome kiss!  
  
Candi: Ok! *thinks about what she said* Damnit!! I was talking to Jessa! *thinks* Um... I'm getting her a  
  
soda! Yeah that's it.  
  
*Aimee, Jessa, and Candi step away from the window*  
  
*Mr. Retarded Pigeon Man jumps in front of the senshi with a girl that he kidnapped and the senshi try to catch him*  
  
MRPM: Fishnet Suffocator Attack!!  
  
*Fishnets wrap themselves around Heather's face, Heather attempts to pull it off and finally gets it off with the help of the other senshi*  
  
Heather: Eeewwww! It smelled like dirty penis!!  
  
*Candi and Jessa go to window*  
  
Candi: Hey, I think they're playing the penis game! (yells) PENIS!!!!  
  
Jessa: (yells louder) PENIS!!!  
  
Aimee: Damnit! You dipshits!  
  
Beth: Shut the fuck up!!!!  
  
*Retarded Pigeon Man runs away from the senshi, Hotaru runs after him.*  
  
Hotaru: Come back, you dipshit!  
  
All: *sweatdroop*  
  
Heather: You know, that girl he was carrying was hot, I would like to fuck her brains out till she cummed  
  
all over me.  
  
All: *sweatdrops*  
  
Gabrielle: Goddamnit! Stop being so lesbianic!  
  
*Hotaru runs back crying with a pair of fishnets chasing her. MRPM whistles and the fishnets go back to him and he escapes*  
  
Candi: That was interesting.  
  
Jessa: Getemboo. *sips soda*  
  
Candi: Gum-bo! *takes Jessa's soda and sips it too, gives it back*  
  
*the SSS come down from the Tower*  
  
Candi: Heather!  
  
Heather: Candi!  
  
Candi: *points to mop* Mop!  
  
Beth: Hey, can we treat you guys to an expensive lunch?  
  
All: Ok!  
  
Ten minutes later, they are all at Wendy's and the SSS and Hotaru are playing in the ball pit. Heather walks over to them.  
  
Heather: Can I join? *winks*  
  
All: Sure!  
  
Gabrielle: (from inside) *scoffs* Children...  
  
Rei: (from inside) C'mon you guys, time to order!  
  
*As they walk out, Heather looks at Jessa, who still has the makeup on*  
  
Heather: How much do you cost?  
  
Jessa: *blink blink* What?  
  
At the cash register, they all have ordered  
  
Cashier: Ok, that comes out to $36.70  
  
*Aimee takes out $4, Jessa takes out $6, Candi takes out $5, Beth takes out $2.*  
  
Beth: Shiiiiittttt...we only have 17 dollars!  
  
*Beth nudges Makoto*  
  
Makoto: *sighs and takes out a 20 and hands it to cashier*  
  
Cashier: Enjoy your meals! *cheesy smile*  
  
As the girls are finishing their meals, Heather stops and looks down at her Apple Pie that she's eating.  
  
Heather: *laughs* I'm eating the pie...*laughs* (Side note: Pie is one of Candi's nicknames)  
  
*Candi is eating oreos*  
  
Heather: Hey, can I have your oreo? *winks*  
  
Candi: *sweatdrops, drops oreos and walks off*  
  
As Setsuna is eating, she notices that the big screen TV on display at the TV store across the street has a news flash.  
  
Reporter: Witnesses have reported that a fat man that looks like a pigeon and is wearing a white wife  
  
beater and fishnets has destroyed most of downtown San Diego and the trail of the  
  
destruction seems to be headed towards the San Diego zoo. *Dr. Frank N. Furter, Grandpa,  
  
and Chad our waving at the camera in background*  
  
Jessa: Wanna play speed?  
  
Beth, Candi, and Aimee: OK!  
  
As Jessa takes out her cards, she notices that they have been ripped up by a pair of pigeon claws, and the SSS all gasp.  
  
Jessa: (dramatically) We must find the bastard who ripped up my cards!  
  
Candi: Um....I think fishnet freak did it.  
  
Jessa: Oh...then I guess we're going to San Diego.  
  
In San Diego, the Senshi are in the evacuated zoo standing around.  
  
Mako: It smells fishy here. *looks around and notices she's next to a fish tank* Oh.  
  
Haruka: Ok, everyone! Transform just in case he tries to surprise us!  
  
All: Ok!  
  
Haruka: Uranus Planet Power!  
  
Michiru: Neptune Planet Power!  
  
Setsuna: Pluto Planet Power!  
  
Rei: Mars Star Power!  
  
Makoto: Jupiter Star Power!  
  
Aimee: Woody Fruity Power!  
  
Jessa: Mianus Blackhole Power!  
  
Candi: Shorts Gothic Power!  
  
Gabrielle: Godmother Italiana Power!  
  
Heather: Songbird Dykie Power!  
  
*long pause*  
  
Uranus: Where are Hotaru and Beth?!  
  
Meanwhile at the petting zoo, Hotaru is petting and feeding the ponies and Beth is chasing a flamingo around and trying to kill it.  
  
Beth: I hate flamingos!! Come back here, you piece of shit!  
  
*The flamingo runs into a cave and Beth follows it*  
  
Hotaru: *feed horse* Good horsie.  
  
*Beth runs out of the cave screaming with a flock of flamingos chasing her and pecking at her head*  
  
Back to the other senshi...  
  
Woody: That sounded like Beth.  
  
Shorts: Yah, Beth has a very, um.....distinctive scream.  
  
*The senshi run towards the scream, but just end up running in a huge circle around the zoo*  
  
Uranus: Ok, split up into groups of two and search the entire zoo.  
  
*Uranus teams up with Neptune, Jupiter teams up with Mars, and Shorts teams up with Woody*  
  
Godmother: Aw heeeeeeeell naw! I either get the bitch, the dumbass, or the dyke! *looks back and  
  
forth between Pluto, Songbird, and Mianus* I guess I'll go with the bitch.  
  
Pluto: I would rather go with Satan himself than you.  
  
Godmother: *glares at Pluto* Fine, bitch! *looks back and forth between Songbird and Mianus* I guess  
  
I'll go with the dyke. *Mianus steps forward* No, the other one, dumbass!  
  
Mianus: *whines*  
  
As the other teams search the rest of the zoo, Woody and Mianus come across the petting zoo.  
  
Woody: Shit!! We've probably circled this whole damn place twice, now where in the hell is the  
  
bathroom!?!  
  
Shorts: No, look! *points at Beth chasing flamingos* Flamingos!  
  
Woody: Kill the bastards!  
  
*Shorts and Woody join Beth in killing Flamingos*  
  
30 minutes later, Godmother shows up in the petting zoo to find half a dozen dead flamingos and Beth, Woody, and Shorts chasing the remaining living flamingos.  
  
Godmother: *gasp* Flamingos! *nostrils flare, eyes flash red, then runs inside petting zoo* Godmother  
  
Bitch-slap Attack! *bitch-slaps flamingo and it goes flying towards wall and splatters all  
  
over* Take that, you gay ass flamingo!  
  
Woody: Woody Dallie Attack!  
  
*A little border collie named Dallas runs out of nowhere and bites the head off a couple flamingos*  
  
Shorts: Shorts Fairy Attack! *Shorts grows fairy wings and prances around petting zoo sprinkling  
  
sparkles on the flamingos, causing a few of them to choke on the sparkles and die*  
  
*everyone stops to look at Shorts*  
  
Woody: That was hella gay!  
  
Shorts: Hey! It's not my fault, the gay ass authors made that as my ghetto weak attack! Geez, like your  
  
guys' was any better!  
  
*others snicker*  
  
Beth: Buddha Belly Attack! *nothing happens* Buddha Belly Attack! *looks around and nervously  
  
laughs*  
  
Woody: (whispers) Transform, dipshit!  
  
Beth: Is that all you can say?! (mockingly) Dipshit, dipshit, dipshit! GOD! Shut UP!  
  
Woody: *laughs* Dipshit.  
  
Shorts: Whoa, deja vu.  
  
Beth: Buddha Chanting Power!  
  
*Beth transforms into Sailor Buddha*  
  
Buddha: Buddha Belly Attack!  
  
Buddha changes into a sumo wrestler and does a belly flop on the flamingo, causing its internal organs to pop out of its body and scatter all over the petting zoo. Buddha changes back into a senshi.  
  
Godmother: Well, I guess that's the last of those damn flamingos.  
  
Hotaru: Good horsie. *pets horse, then turns around and gasps* You killed the flamingos!  
  
*Mianus runs towards the senshi*  
  
Mianus: Guys....there's a.....*wheezes, coughs*....there's...*wheezes*...hang on.....*pulls out inhaler and  
  
takes a few breaths from it* Ok....*sighs*.....there's a battle on the bridge over the elephant  
  
exhibit!  
  
*the senshi go to the elephant habitat to see the original senshi and Songbird fighting Mr. Retarded Pigeon Man*  
  
Shorts: Hey Godmother, weren't you supposed to be with Songbird?  
  
Godmother: Yeah, but I ditched her ghetto ass.  
  
*A bright light suddenly appears from the sky and MRPM disappears*  
  
Buddha: Wow, I want to learn how he did that! *everyone looks at Buddha* What?  
  
*A little girl skips up to Songbird*  
  
Godmother: Hi!!  
  
Songbird: Hi little girl, how old are you?  
  
Girl: 21  
  
*Everyone stops and looks at little girl*  
  
All: *sweatdrops*  
  
Shorts: Hey, Songbird...RRIIIIIIIPPP!!!!  
  
*Songbird glares at Shorts*  
  
Girl: *Pulls out drivers' license* See? I'm 21!  
  
Neptune: Well, I'll be damned...  
  
Shorts: *whispers to others* It's a GD midget...  
  
Girl: *Looks at Songbird* Wanna role-play?  
  
Songbird: Yeah!  
  
Girl: You can pretend I'm your little sister in the shower.  
  
Songbird: YAY!!! All right, let's do it!  
  
All: *sweatdrops* Eeewwwww.....!!!!!!  
  
Candi: Ewwww Song has a pet midget *gags*  
  
Songbird and midget girl skip off hand-in-hand to the bathroom on the other sided of the bridge when Mr. Retarded Pigeon Man flies by and knocks Songbird off the bridge and falls into a deep pit of elephant diarrhea. Since the bridge is 40 feet high, Songbird's impact cause the shit to fly up and land on the and hit Mars and Pluto in the face.  
  
Jupiter and Godmother: *snickers*  
  
Godmother: Dirty bitches....  
  
Jupiter: You said it, sista! *sways head*  
  
*Godmother and Jupiter high-five each other*  
  
Songbird: *gurgles* Heeeeeelp! *gurgles, then goes under*  
  
Songbird ultimately drowned to her death when she swallowed the diarrhea. She choked on it and it got caught up in her throat and lungs. Later, the diarrhea eventually absorbed in her lungs and the bacteria settled in then slowly ate away at her body till nothing remained.  
  
*Shorts throws a rose in the shit pit then it sinks to the bottom with Songbird*  
  
Woody: Heather, we hardly knew ye.  
  
*Shorts goes into the fetal position and starts crying*  
  
Woody: It'll be ok, Shorts..  
  
*Shorts feels back of her head and stops crying*  
  
Shorts: Where's my scrunchee? Has anybody seen my scrunchee?  
  
Woody: Dipshit! Your hair is up to your chin, what the hell do you need a scrunchee for!?  
  
Shorts: Well, I had one around my wrist.  
  
*Shorts looks down at elephant habitat to see burnt scrunchee*  
  
Shorts: You burnt my scrunchee, bitch! *eyes flash red* (in deep demonic voice) How DARE you!  
  
Shorts pulls out a shotgun and shoots Mr. Retarded Pigeon man, who was hiding in the shadow, then falls out dead.  
  
  
  
Shorts: That's what you get when you mess with my precious scrunchee, slore! (side note: "slut" +  
  
"whore" = "slore")  
  
Mianus: That was interesting...Getemboo!  
  
The original senshi walk up to the body of Mr. Retarded Pigeon Man  
  
*Uranus slowly turns around*  
  
Uranus: Good job, Sho.....  
  
Pluto: Damnit! They left again!  
  
~Epilogue~  
  
The SSS arrived at Blockbuster and argue over which movies they should rent. All of a sudden, they start using their most powerful attacks on each other and eventually destroyed all of Blockbuster except for two movies (Girl, Interrupted and Scary Movie) and a cash register with a cute cashier.  
  
Makoto never found out about Rei getting the info over the internet; Uranus and Neptune were too tired to re-arrange the furniture for a while; Hotaru finally got some sleep; Setsuna got to watch the news in the morning since Hotaru slept in.  
  
Jessa didn't find out about the make-up until days later; Candi got a new scrunchee; Beth still didn't get any sleep because Aimee was up all night playing video games and saying "dipshit". Being a SSS herself Gabrielle decided to move in with the "others", but since Mr. Retarded Pigeon Man destroyed the Tokyo Tower the SSS moved into the San Diego zoo. Every night, they each clip a rose from the zoo's botanical garden and throw it into the shit pit for Heather.  
  
THE END.........4 now 


End file.
